Don’t tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead (1991) & Adventures in Babysitting (1987)

The most exciting thing that happened to me as a teenaged babysitter was getting paid an extra $5 on occasion.

These two films profile babysitting as full of drama, sassy kids and permed hair.
Yeah, I’m going to have to call them on that…..For one thing, these curls are natural!

DTMTBD stars a young-ish Christina Applegate who becomes the care giver to her younger brothers and sisters when the parents go to Australia without them and yes, the actual babysitter dies.
AIB stars a not so young Elisabeth Shue who you may remember from other 80s hits such as Karate Kid, Cocktail and Back to the Future II & III (bet you didn’t remember she was in so many classics huh?). She’s a high school girl babysitting the neighbours’ kids who gets into a pickle when she decides to rescue her friend from being stuck “downtown”.

I would have to give AIB the win when it comes to cute kids – the Thor helmet worn by the little girl is like another character in this film – You’ll have to watch to see what I mean. These kids are even funny when they swear. On the other hand, no wonder Christina Applegate’s character decided she needs to get an Adult job, Downtown. Her brothers & sister are super whingey. Sure they swear too but not in the cute way but the ‘I’m going to egg your house’ tone kids who have been abandoned by their parents have.

I would give best changing hairstyles however, to DTMTBD. I can truly say I learned how to never wear my hair in about 20 different ways from that film.

Here I have outlined a few other things I learned from these films so you can decide if you ever want to watch them;

• Every babysitting job will include this kid – he is the big brother in both films sooooooo, it must be true.

• Best friends who get themselves stranded downtown by spending all their money on a taxi ride downtown are best left downtown. Also, they’re not your best friend.
• Downtown is a magical mystical place that is quite scary and only for adults. If you’re a teenager and you go downtown where the adults are, you’re going to learn adult lessons such as; This is where work is done, Some adults are not nice and if you’ve got sass, you’ll make it, kid!
• Babysitters are generally blonde and generally have both inappropriate relationships with older guys AND a sweet age-appropriate on the side.
• All criminals find kids “pesky”

If you do decide to watch these films, I would suggest playing Celebrity Bingo at the same time, to fill in the slow patches in the dialogue:

In AIB, look out for stars of The West Wing, Father of the Bride, Law & Order Criminal Intent and Kindergarten Cop.
In DTMTBD look out for stars of The X Files, Chicago Hope and The Good Wife.

With all this to learn and enjoy there truly is something for everyone in these films. For some people, that something may be the closing credits but whatever floats your boat.

PS – Aussie link check; Boom Crash Opera are on the soundtrack to DTMTBD. Nice one.

Broken Arrow, 1996

Broken Arrow, the title of this film, is a code for ‘losing a nuclear weapon’. Talk about understating a problem. A broken arrow? A nuclear weapon? Like calling the ice age a bit of a chill in the air.

As you can probably guess, the film is about exactly that – losing a nuclear weapon or two. No biggie.

With that in mind, you can be sure that the film as whole is pretty much one big chase scene.
The main characters played by John Travolta and Christian Slater are never standing still;  they fly a plane, they parachute, they run from a helicopter, they chase each other under and over a train, car, truck, donkey, you name it, it is chasing or being chased. (OK, I lied about the donkey). So if you are one for a chase scene, welcome to your nirvana.

I was impressed with John Travolta’s look in this film, he fit fairly and squarely into his airforce overalls – not something I would have predicted, with today’s Travolta in mind. I had to remind myself that this was filmed 18 years ago and pre-nuclear strength facelifts. He was also pretty good at playing the villain with his suitably squinty eyes when he had a good old think about how to be eviler than he was a minute ago.
His co-star Slater is also looking pretty clean cut – probably because he too was in the Air Force. I hear they love a buzz cut. Think Val Kilmer in TopGun. Full disclosure, I love Mr Slater in his earlier roles in Heathers and Pump up the Volume. He was as close as a bad boy crush a well behaved girl could have in the 1990s. Sadly for me, he is the NICE GUY in this film.

Sheesh.

I found two elements of this film funny; the acting style of Samantha Mathis and the abandoned copper mine used as a secret hideaway for baddies.
Samantha Mathis is clearly a method actor. Her method is to act out the script EXACTLY as it appears on the page – one direction or line of dialogue at a time, rather than at the same time. You can see her finish her lines and then pause to continue the script in her own mind… “Oh No!..pause…look scared …What has happened…pause…turn head to right… To you?”. It provided the comedic relief otherwise missing from this film.
The abandoned copper mine reminded me of old Looney Tunes cartoons. As the goodies and baddies chased each other through the tunnels I expected Yosemite Sam to come around a corner and yell “Where are yer, ya varmints!!”.

Aussie casting check – yep. Jack Thompson is cast as the big white man in charge of big arse weapons in the big white house. Is it just me or does he do a really bad American accent?

Broken Arrow is directed by John Woo. Imagine having such a positive name. Woo. Woo! Wooooooo!!!! I was going to say something about how he has used slow motion in random places in this film (well I guess I did just mention it) but when I googled him, apparently thats exactly what he’s known for! So no news there, John Woo-hoo fans.

You may be aware how I’m not actually a nuclear physicist so my qualifications in assessing the realism of how this film plays out is shaky at best. But I’ll give it a shot.
So a nuclear weapon is detonated in an abandoned mine tunnel. An explosion bursts out of the tunnel. When the general safety of people in the vicinity is questioned, the answer is: no worries mate, that happened underground she’ll be apples.  (I may have made that an Australian version of what was actually said but you get the drift of radiation sickness).
I just don’t think I’d be Chernobyl with that Fukushima – would you??

I’m sorry to say there is nothing to say about the nondescript soundtrack to this film. It seems a feature sadly lacking in the 1990s in any drama/action films but I’d be pleased to be proved wrong about that.

Makee (EP), 2014

In a departure from my usual film reviews, I thought I might tackle some unfamiliar territory for me – music.

Most recently I have reviewed a whole bunch of movies from the 80s which rely heavily on synthesiser soundtracks so with this qualification in my back pocket and not much else, I have embarked on reviewing the brand new music created by a local artist Makee.
Makee has just released his first EP, also titled Makee, of 5 original tracks via independent label Hidden Shoal. Dan Cavalli, the mastermind behind Makee, answered my questions so I could put this little creation together for your reading pleasure.

Bail, the first track and the one with a video, is pure escapism. The insistent beat overlaid with ethereal, almost wave like rhythm put me in a trance. Watching the video helped with this, as much of the imagery is pulsing and travelling in waves to match.
I asked Dan about the travelling vibe of the EP and he agreed this was a common feel listeners commented on. I wondered if this was reflective of either a restless mind or a physical journey of his and yep – pretty much both! Dan has been influenced by his own experience in world travels as well as having always lived an eclectic life, expressing his many talents over myriad careers in electronics, hospitality and music.

Stez, the more traditional drum and guitar opening is welcoming and yet almost immediately menacing as a minor key rhythm and low voices are introduced. It feels darker than the rest of the EP and if I was choosing a visual for it, would definitely lean more towards The X Files.
Tone – easily my favourite track – has a retro vibe to it and reminds me of a bit of 70s “Good Times” with its walking beat to bop to.
Wake is the first track with lyrics, or perhaps it is better described as voice used as an instrument. The folding of the low voice into the guitar rhythms is seamless and provides a David Bowie circa “Labyrinth” days echo to the track.

With these two impressions of vintage music, I asked Dan about his own description of his EP as “Atmospheric Nostalgia”. Was this reflective of nostalgia or memories of certain events or perhaps musical influences from his past?
Dan explained that the nostalgia was actually more to describe the feeling he ascribes his music, which is familiar and comforting. Much like “comfort food or your old jumper”. That said, I also found out that many riff-idea seeds that have grown into this EP are gems Dan wrote many years ago. Perhaps these aged musical patterns have become so familiar and comforting to Dan that now they have been shared with all, that feeling of nostalgia was always going to be there.

Bord is the final track and to my untrained ear, sounds the most electronic but not in the 1986 sense. The introduction in particular is almost dot-point precise in electron-o-pa-looza however the track does relax into a more chilled vibe as the rolling cymbals and guitar rhythms blend together.

I’m not an expert in music, but always open to experiencing art in its many forms, and I have caught myself really enjoying this project.
Makee the EP has provided me with a smooth journey into music review and is perfect for anyone looking for an equally relaxing journey. Your ears will enjoy the reprieve from real life.

Dan is back at the keyboard working on new material and a laptop based live set. He’s also open to any offers of collaboration projects, so if you’re that way inclined and talented like Dan, you know what to do.
Check out the EP here –
http://www.hiddenshoal.com/project/makee/

 

Ruthless People, 1986

They were right – there is no Ruth in this film, hence, Ruthless. 

I got a good feeling from the opening credits of this film. It was all animated graphics in the style of Fresh Prince meets Dire Straits ‘Money For Nothing’ film clip. Neon jagged lines and all.
Pure 80s gold. This is yet another gem from 1986 which, through my research on the films from yesteryear to watch and review, I have found is THE year for films.

Stars
It stars some 80s gems too which I enjoyed placing in their other hit and miss films. I have a distinct memory of Helen Slater as ‘Super Girl’ being released in 1984 but not one of any of the actual content of that film. Helen Slater is one of the non-Ruthless People in this film and her nervous doe-eyed character is played opposite Bette Midler who is her exact opposite – over the top, loud and garish in her style. And by loud and garish I mean screaming, shrill and wearing a Tina Turner-ish spiked hair-do in a bright shade of ginger….

Also making his film debut in ‘Ruthless People’ is Bill Pullman, who you may remember from past reviews, played the US President in ‘Deep Impact’. No word of a lie, I wrote down a note while I was watching this film that Bill Pullman’s character’s hair was a “very bottle blonde Miami Vice do”. You can imagine my delight to hear later in the film that he has a pair of goldfish called Crockett & Tubbs! Mintox!

Sets & Danny De Vito
The furniture and settings are like another character in this film. The over the top ostentation of the Stones’ home is amazing, filled with colour combinations to make your eyes bleed if they hadn’t already been poked out by the sharp cornered styling and ‘art’. I think that one effect of this set is to make Danny DeVito’s main character Sam Stone, look even smaller than he is. He looks dwarfed by the ridiculous furniture and fittings and he is the only part of the house that looks conservative. I’m pretty sure this is because he does represent the greed of the 80s, surrounding himself with all the ridiculous fashion of the day trinkets. Remember Danny D was also in the anti-greed movie ‘Jewel of the Nile’?
My pattern-of-movie-messages-senses are tingling….

Comedy is subjective

Did you know this film is directed and produced by the famous comedy trio Jim Abrahams & the Zucker Brothers. This group is most famous for making comedy films ending in an exclamation point!  Their list includes Airport!, Top Secret!, Hotshots! all of which they wrote and directed. Luckily for the more discerning comedy consumers among us, their input to this film was tempered by the darker writing of some guy called Dale Launer.
The writing was the thing that inserted some of the classic comedy moments such as Bette screaming “My husband worships the ground I walk on!!!” as he plots her murder and having Judge Reinhold deliver the lines about having to be a ruthless person to get ahead in the world – all the while, rescuing a spider in the house and carefully carrying it outside rather than ruthlessly squishing it.

I enjoyed the performances of DeVito & Bette opposite Helen Slater and Judge Reinhold. I enjoyed remembering the shoulder padded days of my childhood and the neon coloured clothes I coveted. I enjoyed the message of greed is bad and having this reinforce my view that Hollywood is actually a barometer of the silent majority. While Wall Street grew and grew towards the bust of 1987, Hollywood was illustrating the pressures and ugliness of money worship. Good on you Hollywood, and yes, I see the irony in these messages being promoted by one of the most money heavy and yet vacuous industries in the world…..

I love a good conundrum to ponder.

If you need any inspiration on how to decorate an extreme 80s house – this is your film.
If you love excess and laughing at it – this is your film.
If you love big hair – this is your film.
If you want my recommendation – this is your film.

The Day After Tomorrow, 2004

This movie is already 10 years old people….climate change can now be classed as something in history we can look back on and say “Huh. We really did see that coming.”

Best new word this film taught me – Paleoclimatologist. I googled it. It’s a real word. As they would say in Clueless, try to use it in a sentence today.

Best link to the future – In a story about an ice age and freezing one’s butt off, one of the characters is called ELSA. Love that.

Best scenery – I cannot get enough of pictures taken from space, of Earth. This film delivered that, garnished with suitably poignant lines from the astronauts about how Earth looks as an Icy-Pole.

I was very encouraged to see this film was directed by the same guy that did White House Down and Independence Day, both of which I enjoyed reviewing for a laugh. It was harder to find the overall mirth in this film as it seemed so much more realistic than the others – never fear folks, the Americans still “won” in the end, all is not lost!

I love seeing a recognisable place in a film as you can feel the impact of the story in a more familiar sense. I’m lucky to have visited New York and being a library nerd, more than a few hours were spent in the Library-Bryant Park-Central Station precinct, exactly where much of this film freezes over.
Now, I say I’m a library nerd and yet when the characters started arguing over whether or not they should burn books for warmth I was almost yelling at them BURN BABY BURN.

Dennis Quaid – best known to me until today as that guy in Inner Space, classic comedy from 1987 – is the main guy in this film. He is the Paleoclimatologist actually and also plays the part of Most Determined Dad on Earth. He does it passably but in my opinion, both these roles could have been played by almost anyone. I would have picked George Clooney.
Why not? Ohhhh I know, he’s too hot for a film about ice…..

Jake Gyllenhaal plays Moody but Smart Teenager and is perfect for the role – apart from the fact that he looks like a 23 year old playing a 17 year old. Probably because that’s what he was. He is otherwise perfect for the part in the sense that he is as rigid as a piece of cardboard and the amount of times his character gets drenched in water helps to make him more flexible.

The early scene set in Japan where hail stones the size of grapefruits start to fall really hit home, as well as people on the head. I was out in my car when the mega-hail storm hit here a few years back and it was full on! There are heaps of hail damaged cars around – mainly in university car parks as students could suddenly afford nice cars with a few hundred dents in them. Of course that storm was not a once in 10,000 year climate event causing an ice-age.
But it was still a significant weather event in my otherwise sheltered-from-the-storm corner of the world. Come on, it was! OK fine, I’ll admit that living in a snow-cyclone-tornado-typhoon-earthquake-flood free corner of the world makes me least qualified to comment on being ice-bound.

So, if you think too hard about much of this film, you’ll remember that vast groups of people died in horrible ways including freezing, being crushed, drowning, being blown up, being bored to death by debates over which books to burn.
As such it’s best to focus on the uplifting reminder at the end delivered by the US President – that since the Americans have been so welcomed by the countries found in the south there is hope for man kind, even though those countries have been considered third world….WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE!

Did this film just call Australia – clearly in the southern hemisphere –  a Third World country? The one developed nation to survive the GFC, home of the best crazy animals (Platypus, no-one knows what the hell you are) in the world and inventors of WIFI!?!?!
Well maybe the film industry can make it up to us by, I dunno, sending Johnny Depp to Australia to make a film.
Oh wait! That’s happening already! Good. Just as well. Thanks.

By the way – well done on avoiding any mention of Jack Frost.Way to not get cliched.

Big Trouble in Little China, 1986

This film fits the main criteria for my blog, more so than some films I’ve actually reviewed.
Another film from 1986 – yes, there’s a synthesiser sound track. Another well known film I had not watched before. Maybe that’s why so many people mentioned it to me as a must-review. I was super stoked to find it on the 50cent shelf at the DVD shop.

However, eligibility does not always translate to enjoyability so I must be honest and let you know up front I did not enjoy this film and yet I still managed to find a few things to talk about. I’ll start with the things I found annoying/not well done/more irritating than peas in your fried rice.
SIDE NOTE  – don’t put peas in fried rice people!!!!!

Dialogue: Made up of only three elements.
1) Lots of Hiiiiiiiii-YAH! from all the kung fu type moves in all the fight scenes. I’m talking Great Wall of China amounts of Hiiiiii-YAH.
2) The main character Jack’s sidekick Wang (yes, that’s his name) translating all the Chinese circumstances for all us dumb movie watchers. A sample of this includes: Explosion happens “This does not look good!” Ninjas turn up  “They’re the good guys!” More ninjas turn up “They’re trouble!” Lightening shoots from a guy’s hands  “It’s magic Jack!”
3) Jack spouting cliches from a Cowboy/Western type film, all of which start with the word HEY such as these gems: “Hey! I feel like an outsider here”. “Hey! I’m a reasonable guy but I have experienced some unreasonable things”. “Hey! Somebody, I don’t care who, better explain!” “Hey! I AM relaxed”.
HEY how about some clever dialogue? Sigh.

Costumes: Team uniforms meets Die Hard.
Does Jack (Kurt Russel) change his clothes throughout this film? No. I think this is purposely done in action films so that the appearance of dirt/blood/oil/cocaine adds to the bad-boy image even when, if we were to examine the timelines, its not that realistic.
The other staple of clothes in BTILC are the clothes worn by the gang members, which amount to dark karate uniforms with a colour added to again, help us losers, differentiate between the ‘teams’.

In summary, I guess all of these two elements add up to a lack of subtlety. Is this the ultimate example of films being dumbed down? Maybe. It’s OK for a movie to be simple for a bit of entertainment but when it’s not backed up with good acting or comedy or even good sound track it just doesn’t cut it for me.

I decided to make the film more fun for myself by matching elements of this film to others and came up with a long list –

• Gross blobby monster reporting back to wrinkly old Master-dude – Jabba the Hutt much?
• Jack almost falling into a stone well – Exactly the one used in Silence of the Lambs, I’m certain!
• Mysterious entities made of green energy blasting holes in buildings – Ghostbusters of course.
• The first Storm that appears has a large weird hat and has a severe breathing problem – Darth Vader.
• Underground tunnel running – Indiana Jones, for sure, with a touch of Goonies.
• The fim in general – reminded me of Stakeout, I didn’t enjoy that film either.

One thing I did enjoy was watching the guy in the airport scene pull a few lethal weapons out of his jacket. When do we ever get to see that caper at an airport these days? Those were the days, when nail clippers were allowed and flick knives were a chance for a fight…

I looked this film up to see how it did back when it was released and it failed. It cost $20million to make and only made $11million at the cinema. Ouch! According to the same source however, it has in the last 20 years, enjoyed a new cult following. I need the phone & address of that cult to ask them for some tips on what they have discovered. Do I need to wait another 2o years and then will find it somehow fun and clever? I’ll give it a go….

 

Beverly Hills Cop, 1984

Alternative Title: Donkey Learns to Swear

I had not seen this movie until today and what a crack up! Eddie Murphy clearly loved this role so much he reprised his character and renamed him Donkey in the Shrek films. Such a similar schtick – love it. Of course the main difference between Donkey and Axel Foley is the swearing. Here’s a test – below is a line from Shrek, with swear words added. Now doesn’t that just sound EXACTLY like Axel Foley from BH Cop? You know it does!!

“Okay, let me get this straight: you gonna go fight a f*&^#n dragon and rescue a god@#$% princess just so Farquaad’ll give you back your crazy-a## swamp, which you only don’t have ’cause he filled it full of crack-wh#$%e freaks in the first place. Is that about f@#$%n’ right?”

I was also unschooled in the amazing soundtrack of this film. Until today, I thought “Neutron Dance” was just a background track for singing into your hairbrush while practicing your disco moves. Or so I’d heard.
I now know it’s a car chase scene from the 80s where cars crash into fruit stands and parked cars just for the KA-POW of the moment. In addition to this gem is The Heat is On and some of the best worst repetitive ear-bleeding synthesiser work I’ve heard since Jewel of the Nile.

How good is the guy who plays the art gallery dealer. I know him as Balki Bartocumous, the crazy cousin in “Perfect Strangers”, the sitcom from the late 80s. Like Eddie, he seems to have channelled his BH Cop character, accent and all, into his later work.

The story behind the action in this film – cop goes alone to try and solve the murder of his old criminal friend – is not what carries this movie. It’s the grin on Eddie’s face, the banter/run off at the mouth-ness, the cheesy lines (we’ll look closer at these in a moment) and the constant return to the Axel F theme song in between scenes. I think the character of Foley in general, in opposition to the conservative characters around him, makes Foley and therefore his dialogue stand out. Did you know this script was nominated for an Academy Award for the writing? True story! Although I do wonder if Eddie Murphy ad-libbed a bunch of his fast talking scenes…

Here are my fave lines from the film:
Disturbing the peace? I got thrown out of a window! What’s the f@#$%n’ charge for getting pushed out of a moving car, huh? Jaywalking?
Is this the gentleman who crashed through Victor Maitland’s window? Who disabled an unmarked unit with a banana? (this one makes me laugh so much..why? why??)

I noticed that at one point, Foley says how this is their chance to “blow this case wide open!”. I wonder if this is the first place this line was used?

Did anyone else note how nicely dressed everyone is in this film? The cops, the bad guys, the incidentals. Everyone has suited up for the occasion. Except Foley of course, another way to make his character stand out I guess.

I would class this film as a classic. It seems to provide a relief from third cop dramas by injecting humour into the usual car chase chaos and shoot-em-up scenes. Good on the old Bruckheimer who seems to be able to read what the punter wants. In the 80s, we wanted wise-cracking cops set to cracker soundtracks. Today we want (and so the same guy produces) “Survivor” and “The Amazing Race” for TV – clearly BH COP and other action masterpieces such as Top Gun, are the gateway drug to reality TV.

Watch it, laugh at it, get some tips on how to wear a suit in any profession.

Speed, 1994

Alternative title:

Does My Bomb Look Big in this Bus?

 

Perhaps if this film had been made after “Snakes on a Plane” it could have simply been called “There’s a Bomb on the Bus!”   Not only is this a great line from the movie but it would help stop younger viewers expecting a how-to documentary from Charlie Sheen.

Speed (the movie not the drug) is known as a blockbuster and did wonderful financial things for many people, not least of whom was Sandra Bullock, playing her first big screen movie role. It was also a money maker for Jan De Bont, who was directing for the first time. He was however, a long-term Hollywood cinematographer and even the harshest of critics of action films would have to agree this one does not suck in the cinematography department. Who knew having 90% of a film happen on a bus, would make good vision?
Jan de Bont. That’s who. And who was paying attention?
Snakes on a Plane. That’s who. (OK, not the actual snakes, the people who made it, picky!)

So there’s this bus and if it slows to less than 5o miles per hour, a bomb will blow it up. I had to google this point – 50 MPH is equal to 80.4KM per hour. Not super fast but enough to crack your radiator if you hit a roo. AmIright?
So on this bus there’s a chick who’s tougher than she knows and a policeman who jumps on board and, ummm,  the others.
Much like in Gilligan’s Island, where we only care about Gilligan, Skipper and Ginger’s dress, on this 3 Hour Tour (see what I did there?) apart from Annie & Jack, the other bus people are just, well, the other bus people.

Did you notice the bank ad on the back of the bus? It says “Money isn’t everything.  Yeah right!”
Was this a premonition of the financial success of the film?
I’d like to say it’s more like a continuation of the capitalist individualism we have come to recognise as democracy in the world with the bus a metaphor for life hurtling through the morass with an inevitable disaster around the corner….
But I won’t say that in case you start thinking this is a serious blog or something.

Best casting decision – Without a doubt, Alan Ruck. Good old Cameron from Ferris Bueller. As the clueless tourist on the bus, he has some of the best lines. My favourite is when the bomb-laden bus makes it to the airport and all he can say is “Oh, I’ve already seen the airport”.

Second best scene – I really enjoyed the under-the-bus bit where Nananu (Keanu Reeves if I must be correct) zooms along on a trolley, tied to string, tied to the bus trying to diffuse the bomb. It’s funny and tense.
Those of weak bladder – Beware. I believe these are two of your worst situations, combined.

HOWEVER The actual best scene goes to the opening of this film, which (perhaps tellingly) does not take place on a bus. Again, a warning for those of weak bladder, scared of heights or nervous in general.

Best prop – Nananu’s digital Casio watch. Didn’t we all want one of these back in about 1988? Why is it featured in a film in 1994? Who knows but I love it. I think the best casio I ever owned was a calculator. (Nerd alert!)

Cheesiest moments – oh take your pick but they generally involve Nananu and Sandy ending in a big HUG.

Best “Did you know?” – Joss Whedon, one of my personal heroes, wrote most of the dialogue for this film. Yay Joss.

In short, watch it, enjoy the spectacle.
Then, best get on with your life, avoiding all lifts, buses, airports, policemen, rubbish bins, subways, trains, you get the point……

The bus from ‘Speed’ impersonating the car at the end of ‘Grease’

Stand By Me (1986)

This film is often described as a boys’ “coming of age” story. If this film is a true representation of what it’s like on a camping trip with a bunch of boys, then “coming of age” has way more to do with dick jokes than pretty much anything else in the world…

Five easy-to-spot signs you’re a fan of this film –

1. Whenever you hear this song…” Lollipop, lollipop oh lolly lolly lolly lollypop” you automatically POP (using your finger and cheek) and sing “Ba-doom-doom-doom”.
2. You know this film is based on a story written by Stephen King, it was the first film made with Kiefer Sutherland and Jerry O’Connell and the first non-TV film for Wil Wheaton & River Phoenix.
3. If you’re a guy, your biggest wilderness fear involves leeches.
4. You’ve never been keen to enter an eating competition because you know it will result in a Barf-o-rama.
5. You know the correct way to use the word ‘Sincerely’, in any situation.

Spot quiz – do you remember which actor played Gordy’s dead brother? John Cusack, who was 20 years old at the time.

There are heaps of laughs in this film, mostly at the expense of Vern, the comb-carrier and the general hilarity at situations like the discussion on what exactly IS Goofy. Sadly, that’s a mystery not solved in this film.
Some of the best lines in this film are wrapped up in the general conversation between the boys  – the 7 cents that Vern contributes to the food fund, the discussion about the Mickey Mouse Club. Here are a couple of gems:
Actually, scratch that, most of the one liners are dick jokes and out of context, will make me look like I endorse that sort of thing which of course I never would…

What raises this film a notch above are the stories of the boys. Even being smart and from a well-to-do family does not inoculate the narrator Gordy from being a damaged child, dealing with the death of his brother and neglect from his parents. Raised in an era when mental health and family support services was non-existent these boys provide therapy to each other by telling stories and providing an escape from home life.

I guess if I was going to be annoyed at anything in this film, it would be the continuity. Each film is supposed to have a person who’s job it is to make sure when there is more than one “take” of a scene that may be edited together, each scene is setup exactly the same as the last take. This is called continuity. In this film, the amount of time the four boys are carrying the wrong camping gear or no camping gear or how their clothes are dry after being in the pond is glaringly obvious and therefore, annoying.
But that’s enough about my super-sonic observation skills (no, it’s not OCD if there’s no hand washing involved).

Making a film about how the friends you choose can be more like family is not a new schtick, but as we all know, Stephen King does it well. With the young talent in this film to carry the characters as well, (who can’t love the buzz-cut River and the gust-of-wind-would-knock-him-over Wil), I give this film four and half dead bodies.

First person to comment with the definition of a “goocher” wins my everlasting admiration.

Casablanca, 1942

Alternative title: We’ll Always have Hats*

*an ode to the amount of hats you see in this film – it’s a fun drinking game to take a drink every time you see a new type of hat. Trust me, you’ll get a sweet buzz from this as you spot the fez, the boater, the panama, the beret, the turban, the hijiab, the police hat, the safari helmet… it really does go on! However I’m not sure if ‘lampshade’ is ever a good hat choice, Ilsa…

I first saw Casablanca as a uni student in the early 1990s and was intrigued by all the intrigue. 
It’s a 1940s war movie made in the middle of the actual war- is this what they mean by art imitating life? 
In this review I could discuss the argument that it a film used as a metaphor for the US involvement in the second world war, or the use of the light & dark shadow framing to represent the way our lives are haunted by our past & dreams…but that would be way too serious. 

Why enjoy this film? 
I think this film was/is so popular is that it wasn’t the run-of-the-mill escape from the Nazis film, but it does include an escape. It’s not the usual blokes in camo-gear fighting on the front, but it does include men in uniform and a few bar fights. It’s a war film without actually having to see the war, yet you still get to cheer when the Nazis get their comeuppance. (that’s a word from the past – I think it’s a kind of coin, kind of like a tuppence but less value, which is why you want the bad guys to get comeuppance, cos then they’re poor…) 

I love a good line
Now, a review is just a review if I don’t mention all the iconic lines that came from this film (see what I did with this exact sentence?). My favourite dialogue is: 

Ugarte: Do you despise me Rick? 
Rick: I suppose if I ever considered you I might. 

So cool!
Did you know this is where “We’ll always have Paris” and “Round up the usual suspects” comes from? Not to mention “Here’s looking at you kid” and “Louie, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship”. 

Seeing how I don’t think many of you will be leaders of the Czechoslovakian underground, here are my suggestions for you to work these gems into your everyday lives:
Your significant other: “Hey Honey, someone’s left a smelly stain on the carpet!”
You:”Well, guess we better round up the usual suspects”

Producer of reality TV show: “Oh no, our vague and famous-for-no-reason female has left the show!” 
Other producer of reality TV show: “We’ll always have Paris”.

Farmer: “I can’t find the goat”
Farmer’s sidekick (yelling) “Here’s looking at you KID!!”

So whose side are YOU on? 
The iconic scene in this film is the time the sauerkraut volkswagon Germans start singing something German in Rick’s Bar and the largely peugeot fromage French and anti-Nazi crowd take over by yelling/singing La Marseillaise. We get to cheer the plucky non-Germans, laugh at the Germans who have to go back to their beer-steins in shame and start to tear-up as French women cry about having left their beloved France due to their government’s jelly-spined acquiescence to the German invaders….but I digress. 
In my opinion its also where we get proof that our Norwegian leading lady Ilsa (played by Isabella Rosellini’s mother Ingrid Bergman) truly does love her Czech husband and his underground resistance fighting (which is such an attractive feature of a man but somewhat inconvenient if you’re not fond of concentration camps. I met an underground kinda guy once but I’m not that into trains).
Sucked in Humphrey Bogart’s “cool as a place anywhere other than Casablanca which is in the African Desert” Rick. 

As with many great films, the true genius is often not what’s going on but what’s going on around what’s going on. Got it? In this film, you have the main plot line but I love the little side stories of the desperate refugees trying to get to America, the shady gamblers playing with other peoples lives, the piano player who seems to know all but all Schultz style, knows NUT-ZINK!

I would recommend this film for anyone who likes a romance with intrigue, a political stouche with intrigue, getting intriguingly drunk, an intriguing sacrificial decision made by the main characters and most of all, hats.